When I read Amara’s article titled ‘Reasons you are not married’ on Linda Ikeja’s blog last month, I was taken aback. I believe that the article was published in PM Newspaper. How did that happen? I recently searched for the post but couldn’t find it on Linda’s blog which is probably because it was removed due to the very many insulting comments it aroused towards the author. I am not an expert on marriage but from my own opinion, her writing was biased and myopic.
Amara gave several reasons why she feels some women that are of marriage age are still single. She explained that a woman’s over demanding lifestyle, her status in terms of a good job and salary (which could intimidate men), and her desire for a ‘ready made man’ instead of a growing man with a vision are evident reasons why many women are not married and more. (Okay, that happens). However, she mentioned something that made me laugh. According to her “if by the age of 30 no man has asked to know if you are for sale…it’s either spiritual or attitudinal.”
Now what do you think? What does ‘sale’ even mean?
People tend to miss the point. In my opinion more emphasis should be placed on finding the right person rather than, ‘you are old, go get married!’ I’m not saying that a lady should be extremely selective and should keep wasting time. I’m just saying that one should take themselves and their children into consideration because children from broken or troubled homes get affected by such an environment.
The family as a basic institution in the society can play a major role in molding whom we are and who we become. In a home where there is love between spouses, love is shared with the children and this can positively affect their lives. Divorce rates keep increasing because singles just wake up one day and say, “time has gone. I have to get married” and they hook up with the next available person.
Saying that attitudinal or spiritual problems are results of being single at 30 does not sound reasonable. What if she’s with someone that is not yet financially capable of getting married? Whether we like it or not, issues like that occur.
Well, I feel what is worth doing is worth doing right! Although,
things are never perfect. Earlier, I mentioned the ‘right person’.
Who is the right person? The right person isn’t perfect! The
right person is the one you love and whom you are willing to
tolerate and live with (his/her flaws) and whom you intend to
stay committed to, no matter what. Now that’s the point!
We live in a society where if you are truly not married at 30, you are frowned at and judged. In the process of preventing such stigma, ladies rush and get married without asking,
“Do I know him well?”
“Do I know him well?”
“Do I love him?”
‘Does he love me?”
“Will I be willing to make sacrifices when we have our ups and downs?”
This is my opinion. You can leave yours in the comment box!
Here’s a link to Amara’s article, http://liveofofo.com/general-news/reasons-you-are-not-married-by-amara-pm-news/comment-page-1/
xxxx
i read Amara's article and i cannot but admit that some of her points are actually very true. no man wants a wife with a very bad attitude and i agree that the problem is more an attitudinal thing than spiritual. but in the bid to get married or because of what society will say because we are not married, we women shouldn't rush and jump into marriage wit the next available man (no sense in that). there is no Mr. Perfect only a Mr. Right for you so work on making yourself Miss. Right, Mr. Right is on his way
ReplyDelete